Finding the best jesus gifts funny suitable for your needs isnt easy. With hundreds of choices can distract you. Knowing whats bad and whats good can be something of a minefield. In this article, weve done the hard work for you.
Finding the best jesus gifts funny suitable for your needs isnt easy. With hundreds of choices can distract you. Knowing whats bad and whats good can be something of a minefield. In this article, weve done the hard work for you.
Best jesus gifts funny
1. NPW Drinking Buddies Cocktail/Wine Glass Markers, 4-Count, Water Into Wine Jesus Buddies
Feature
Package of 4 Jesus drink markersOne each of Christ. T., J.C., J-Dawg and Kanye
Hang Jesus on the side of your glass to mark your drink and avoid mix ups
Essential for parties, picnics or anytime the drinks are flowing
Entertain friends with hilarious NPW gifts and gadgets that will crack them up
Description
Pack of 4 Jesus drink markers to hang on the side of your glass to avoid mix ups. Essential for parties, picnics or anytime the drinks are flowing. Everyone needs a drinking buddy, especially one who can turn water to wine! It's always time to have a laugh with NPW whether it be a birthday, office prank, sleep over, party or just because you want a Mega LOL. NPW lives and breathes cheekiness. Entertain friends with hilarious gifts and gadgets that will crack them up! there is never a dull moment with NPW in your life.2. Dancing with Jesus: Bobbling Figurine
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Dancing with Jesus: Bobbling Figurine (Running Press Mini Editions)This humorous kit includes a bobbling Jesus figurine on a suction cup base that you can attach to your dashboard, your desk, or virtually anywhere you could use some peace and tranquility - or to just bring a smile to your face
Kit also includes a mini version of the Dancing with Jesus book, with how-to instructions and illustrations
Dispatched same day from the UK
Description
Adapted from the wildly popular Dancing with Jesus, this humorous kit includes a bobbling Jesus figurine on a suction cup base that you can attach to your dashboard, your desk, or virtually anywhere you could use some peace and tranquility--or to just bring a smile to your face. Kit includes:- 3" dancing Jesus bobbling figurine
- 48-page illustrated mini book including 10 dance moves with how-to instructions, along with the inspiration for each dance derived from Jesus's life and teachings
- Illustrated conga line backdrop to display with your figurine
3. Dancing with Jesus: Featuring a Host of Miraculous Moves
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Running Press Book PublishersDescription
Are you cursed with two left feet? Are your dance moves unrighteous? Do you refrain from getting down lest others judge you cruelly? Fear not. Salvation is at hand.Singing hymns of praise is standard practice-now it's time to set your feet a-tapping with a collection of original dance moves inspired by Jesus and the likes of Moses and John the Baptist. Dances include: the Water Walk, the Temptation Tango, the Judas Hustle, and The Apostolic Conga. Each dance move is outlined with: how to, inspiration, and an illustration. Slyly irreverent but ultimately festive, Dancing with Jesus is illustrated in full color. Best of all, two of the dances are animated for full effect by a lenticular cover and last-spread finale, making this a truly one-of-a-kind novelty item!
As the Bible says in Ecclesiastes, there is, "A time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, a time to dance."
4. Accoutrements Dashboard Jesus
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Hard vinyl 4.5" figureSits on metal spring with an adhesive base
Add a little serenity to your commute
Description
Put this 4-1/2" (11.4 cm) tall Dashboard Jesus in your car and he'll be your co-pilot. Even though he may guide you through the valley of gridlock, he alone cannot get you into the carpool lane. Each hard vinyl Jesus figure sits atop a metal spring with an adhesive base. If you don't have a car, stick him up somewhere that you could use a little peace, serenity or forgiveness.5. JS Gifts Jesus Hates IT When You Smoke Ashtray
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JESUS HATES IT WHEN YOU SMOKE AshtrayStandard ashtray size: 3.75 x 3.75 inches
Glass
Makes a great gift
Description
JESUS HATES IT WHEN YOU SMOKE Ashtray, Glass, Standard ashtray size - 3.75 x 3.75 inches6. Inappropriate Coloring Books Sarcastic Jesus: Cuss Word Jesus Lets You Know What He Really Thinks A Funny Coloring Book For Adults
Description
Launch Price SpecialCurrently $4.99 - Normally $7.99
Hurry! Before Price Increases
Inappropriate Coloring Books Sarcastic Jesus
Cuss Word Jesus Lets You Know What He Really Thinks
A Funny Coloring Book For Adults
7. Hallmark 0349RZF3005 Shoebox Funny Birthday Greeting Card (Jesus)
Feature
Cover Message: Once upon a time, a very special person was born who was destined to change the world.Inside Message: Calm down. It's not you, it's Jesus. I think he'd want you to have a happy birthday, though.
Includes one funny birthday card and one envelope. Card size: 5 inches wide and 7.2 inches long.
Printed on high quality paper stock, this funny birthday card is a funny way to wish someone a happy birthday.
Shoebox funny greeting cards assortment are the perfect way to make someone laugh out loud. These edgy, irreverent takes on life are surprising, hilarious, often inappropriate and always timely.
Description
Send a funny greeting to a family member, friend, coworker, and more with this card featuring a photo of a sunset against a blue sky. The message on the front of the card reads, "Once upon a time, a very special person was born who was destined to change the world." Open the card to reveal the inside message, "Calm down. It's not you, it's Jesus. I think he'd want you to have a happy birthday, though." The card measures 7.2 inches long by 5 inches wide made with high quality cardstock paper; an envelope is included. All Hallmark cards are made with paper from well-managed forests. Shoebox greetings are the perfect way to make someone laugh out loud. These edgy, irreverent takes on life are surprising, hilarious, often inappropriate and always timely. Hallmark was founded in 1910 when 18-year-old J.C. Hall arrived in Kansas City, Missouri, with a couple of shoeboxes of postcards under his arm and the American dream in his heart. Hallmark greeting cards are sold online and in nearly 40,000 retail stores across the globe and people continue to recognize the iconic Hallmark brand as "the very best."8. Funny Wine Glass 21 oz Stemless Jesus Juice by Palmetto Stamped
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EXTREMELY DURABLE - Highest quality wine glass, designed and made in the USA. Thick stemless real glass, durable print, and dishwasher safe.SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - If you are not happy with your purchase for any reason we will issue a refund.
WINE VOLUME - Huge 21oz glass for the price of competitors smaller glass. Measures 5" H 3" D
FUNNY GIFT - Perfect present for women, men, weddings, mom, bachelorette party, birthdays and Christmas. Great with wine condoms, penis straw, and other wine accessories and gifts. Also makes perfect Christian gift for women or men.
FREE - Gift box and gift bow included.
Description
Funny Wine Glass 21 oz Stemless Jesus Juice by Palmetto Stamped9. What Would Jesus Wear - Jesus Magnetic Dress Up Doll Play Set
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It's rarely mentioned, but Jesus had a great sense of humor. One reason the sermon on the mount went over so well is that he opened with a few real zingers. At the Last Supper, his impression of Pontius Pilate as a donkey made wine come out Bartholomew's nose. So we'd like to think Jesus would get a kick out of this What Would Jesus Wear Magnetic Dress Up Kit. It features a large magnet in the likeness of Jesus and a large assortment of magnetic clothing and accessories.You can dress J.C. in anything from traditional garb (white robe, cross) to surfer dude (tie-dyed shirt and surfer shorts). There are also loads of props such as loaves, fishes, chalices, hats, and tools from his carpenter years. Yep, we're sure Jesus has a sense of humor. If not, we're in a LOT of trouble.
MIX AND MATCH - Includes dozens of pieces for nearly limitless options. Each set promises hours of enjoyment on your refrigerator. The magnets are also strong enough to hold up life's most important documents (Math tests, dentist appointments, overdue bills) in style.
MEASURES - Approximately 7.5" x 12". It has a total of two sheets, including all accessories. It's fun, funny, and educational. The magnet set makes a great gift. We have many other sets available, check them out.
FROM THE UNEMPLOYED PHILOSOPHERS GUILD - Don't worry. We are employed, just not as philosophers. We're a small, Brooklyn based company specializing in gifts for the sophisticated gift giver. For whatever you need, we have presents of mind.
Description
Brought to You by The Unemployed Philosophers GuildThe origins of the Unemployed Philosophers Guild are shrouded in mystery. Some accounts trace the Guild's birth to Athens in the latter half of the 4th century BCE. Allegedly, several lesser philosophers grew weary of the endless Socratic dialogue endemic in their trade and turned to crafting household implements and playthings. (Hence the assertions that Socrates quaffed his hemlock poison from a Guild-designed chalice, though vigorous debate surrounds the question of whether it was a "disappearing" chalice.)
Others argue that the UPG dates from the High Middle Ages, when the Philosophers Guild entered the world of commerce by selling bawdy pamphlets to pilgrims facing long lines for the restroom. Business boomed until 1211 when Pope Innocent III condemned the publications. Not surprisingly, this led to increased sales, even as half our membership was burned at the stake.
More recently, revisionist historians have pinpointed the birth of the Guild to the time it was still cool to live in New York City's Lower East Side. Two brothers turned their inner creativity and love of paying rent towards fulfilling the people's needs for finger puppets, warm slippers, coffee cups, and cracking up at stuff.
10. How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives
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Three Rivers Press CADescription
The cats of America are under siege!Long gone are the good old days when a cats biggest worries were mean dogs or a bath. Modern cats must confront satanists, online predators, the possibility of needing to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and countless other threats to their nine lives.
For over four decades, the American Association of Patriots have stood at the vanguard of our country's defense by helping to prepare our nation's cat owners for the difficult conversations they dread having with their pets. Written in a simple Q&A format, How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety answers crucial questions such as, What is the right age to talk to my cat about the proper use of firearms? and What are the benefits of my cat living a lifestyle of abstinence? and especially Why does my cat need to use the internet? Cant he just play with yarn like cats used to do?
Our countryand our catsstand at a precipice. It will take courage, and it will take hard work, but armed with the knowledge within these pages, we can make our catsand Americagreat again!