Finding the best wired for love suitable for your needs isnt easy. With hundreds of choices can distract you. Knowing whats bad and whats good can be something of a minefield. In this article, weve done the hard work for you.
Best wired for love
1. Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship
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Wired for Love How Understanding Your Partner s Brain Can Help You Defuse Conflicts and Spark IntimacyDescription
"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts.
Wired for Love is a complete insiders guide to understanding your partners brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship.
Strengthen your relationship by:
Creating and maintaining a safe couple bubbleUsing morning and evening rituals to stay connected
Learning to fight so that nobody loses
Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved
By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships.
While theres no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.
2. Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate
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New Harbinger PublicationsDescription
In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate.
Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkinauthor of Wired for Loveoffers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship.
Using real-life scenarios, youll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, youll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life.
If youre ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.
3. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
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Little Brown and CompanyDescription
Heralded by the New York Times and Time magazine as the couple therapy with the highest rate of success, Emotionally Focused Therapy works because it views the love relationship as an attachment bond. This idea, once controversial, is now supported by science, and has become widely popular among therapists around the world.In Hold me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson presents Emotionally Focused Therapy to the general public for the first time. Johnson teaches that the way to save and enrich a relationship is to reestablish safe emotional connection and preserve the attachment bond. With this in mind, she focuses on key moments in a relationship-from Recognizing the Demon Dialogue to Revisiting a Rocky Moment-and uses them as touchpoints for seven healing conversations. Through case studies from her practice, illuminating advice, and practical exercises, couples will learn how to nurture their relationships and ensure a lifetime of love.
4. We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love
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If you and your prospective partner adopt the principles and skills I describe here, your relationship will be successfulnot just for starters, but for the long run.
An indispensable guide for any couple ready to set the foundation for a loving and lasting union
Committing fully to a loving partnershipa wecan be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences youll ever have. Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging.Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So how do you beat the odds?
All successful long-term relationships are secure relationships, writes psychotherapist Stan Tatkin. You and your partner take care of each other in a way that ensures you both feel safe, protected, accepted, and secure at all times.
InWe Do,Tatkin provides a groundbreaking guide for couples. Youll figure out whether you and your partner are right for each other in the long term, and if so, give your relationship a strong foundation so you can enjoy a secure and lasting love. Highlights include:
- Create a shared vision for your relationship, the key to a strong foundation
- Its all about preventionlearn tools and techniques for preventing problems before they occur
- Understand how to work with the psychological and biological influences in your relationshipneuroscience, arousal regulation, attachment theory, and more
- Numerous case studies with helpful examples of healthy and unhealthy interactions, sample dialogues, and reflections
- Dozens of exercisesthe newlywed game, reading facial expressions, and many more fun and serious practices to develop intimacy and security
- Handling conflicthow to broker win-win outcomes
- Build a loving relationship that helps you thrive and grow as both individuals and a couple
Common interests, physical attraction, shared values, and good communication skills are the factors most commonly thought to indicate a good partnership. Yet surprisingly, current research reveals that these are only a small part of what makes for a healthy marriagemuch more important are psychological and biological influences. With We Do, youll learn to navigate these elements and more, giving your relationship the best possible chance to succeed.
5. Spiritual Evolution: How We Are Wired for Faith, Hope, and Love
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HarmonyDescription
In our current era of holy terror, passionate faith has come to seem like a present danger. Writers such as Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Christopher Hitchens have been happy to throw the baby out with the bathwater and declare that the danger is in religion itself. God, Hitchens writes, is not great.But man, according to George E. Vaillant, M.D., is great. In Spiritual Evolution, Dr. Vaillant lays out a brilliant defense not of organized religion but of mans inherent spirituality. Our spirituality, he shows, resides in our uniquely human brain design and in our innate capacity for emotions like love, hope, joy, forgiveness, and compassion, which are selected for by evolution and located in a different part of the brain than dogmatic religious belief. Evolution has made us spiritual creatures over time, he argues, and we are destined to become even more so. Spiritual Evolution makes the scientific case for spirituality as a positive force in human evolution, and he predicts for our species an even more loving future.
Vaillant traces this positive force in three different kinds of evolution: the natural selection of genes over millennia, of course, but also the cultural evolution within recorded history of ideas about the value of human life, and the development of spirituality within the lifetime of each individual. For thirty-five years, Dr. Vaillant directed Harvards famous longitudinal study of adult development, which has followed hundreds of men over seven decades of life. The study has yielded important insights into human spirituality, and Dr. Vaillant has drawn on these and on a range of psychological research, behavioral studies, and neuroscience, and on history, anecdote, and quotation to produce a book that is at once a work of scientific argument and a lyrical meditation on what it means to be human.
Spiritual Evolution is a lifes work, and it will restore our belief in faith as an essential human striving.
6. The Attachment Theory Workbook: Powerful Tools to Promote Understanding, Increase Stability, and Build Lasting Relationships
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Put attachment theory into practicethe definitive workbook.
What do you want from your closest relationships, and are you getting it? What concrete steps do you need to take to develop happier and healthier attachments? These are the central questions attachment theory seeks to answer, and this definitive workbook shows you how to apply these insights to your life and relationships.
Armed with effective tools and strategies, youll discover your personal attachment style and the role it plays in your closest relationshipswith your partner, parents, siblings, or close friends. With guidance to confront challenges and explore possibilities for real change, The Attachment Theory Workbook offers an active approach to build close, healthy, long-lasting relationships.
With The Attachment Theory Workbook youll learn:
- Attachment Theory 101Learn the founding principles of attachment theory and what they mean to you.
- Your Attachment StyleUnderstand how your thoughts and feelings about relationships impact anxious, avoidant, and even secure attachment behaviors.
- How to HealUse exercises and questionnaires to foster understanding, intimacy, and stability in your relationships.
All the tools you need to lay the foundation for strong and lasting relationshipsThe Attachment Theory Workbook.
7. Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It
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Insecure in Love How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous Needy and Worried and What You Can Do About ItDescription
Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities; but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences.
In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing wayrather than beating yourself up. Youll also learn how insecurity can negatively affect healthy dialog between you and your partner (or potential partners) and develop the skills needed to stop you from reverting back to old patterns of neediness and possessiveness.If you suffer from anxious attachment, you probably know that you need to change, and yet you have remained stuck. With compassionate self-awareness, you can successfully explore old anxiety-perpetuating perceptions and habits without being overwhelmed or paralyzed by them. By understanding the psychological factors at the root of your attachment anxiety, you will learn to cultivate secure, healthy relationships to last a lifetime.
If youre ready to stop getting stuck in the same hurtful relationship patterns and finally break the cycle of heartache, this book can show you how to get the love you deserveand keep it!8. Wired Love: A Romance Of Dots And Dashes (1880)
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This scarce antiquarian book is a facsimile reprint of the original. Due to its age, it may contain imperfections such as marks, notations, marginalia and flawed pages. Because we believe this work is culturally important, we have made it available as part of our commitment for protecting, preserving, and promoting the world's literature in affordable, high quality, modern editions that are true to the original work.9. The Four Noble Truths of Love: Buddhist Wisdom for Modern Relationships
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"Susan Piver consistently offers what so many of us seek: A generous, caring, loving teacher, someone with an open heart and a clear mind, eager to help us find our own way forward." --Seth Godin, author of Linchpin.Broken hearts, resentment, affairs, divorce. Why is it so hard to make relationships work? New York Times bestselling author and mindfulness expert Susan Piver applies classic Buddhist wisdom to modern romance, including her own long-term relationship, to show that ancient philosophies have timelessand unexpectedwisdom on how to love.
The Four Noble Truths of Love will challenge the expectations you have about dating, sex, and romance, liberating you from the habits, traumas, and expectations that have been holding back your relationships. This mindful approach toward love will help you open your heart fearlessly, deepen communications with your partner, increase your compassion and resilience, and lead you toward a path of true happiness. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain: expansive, real love for yourself and others.